“I'm as close to retarded as you can get and still live alone, I'll admit that. If there was an island for retarded people, I would be their king. They would be like "he can cut his own meat, he will lead us!"”
Fired from Dennys
Miniskirts & Muffins (2004)
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Mitch Fatel 3
American comedian 1968Related quotes

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http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2010/02/rush_limbaugh_theres_going_to.html

“Live for today you retarded little shit. The end is near.”
Overqualified

TV Series and Specials (Includes DVDs), Trick of the Mind (2004–2006)

Source: Don Quixote de la Mancha (1605–1615), Part I, Book IV, Ch. 23.

Book III, Ode 29, lines 65–68.
Imitation of Horace (1685)

Unlikely Stories, Mostly (1983)
Context: I asked the headmaster of literature, "Why are there so many headmasters and so few poets? Is it easier for you to train your own kind than ours?" He said, "No. The emperor needs all the headmasters he can get. If a quarter of his people were headmasters he would be perfectly happy. But more than two poets would tear his kingdom apart."
"Five Letters from an Eastern Empire", p. 88.