“If I thought the Lord was speaking to me I'd check myself into Bellevue, and I think you should too.”

“Warlord, you once told me I'd always know what you're thinking. What are your thoughts now?"

"Partly, I'm thinking that I might shame myself in my trews, just from the feel of you next to me.”

“You thought I was that type:
That you could forget me,
And that I'd plead and weep
And throw myself under the hooves of a bay mare…”

“[If I had literally heard the voice of Jesus] I'd check myself in to see a psychiatrist. I don't hear voices and anyone who does should really see a psychiatrist and get some help.”

“I think the House of Lords ought to be abolished and I don't think the best way for me to abolish it is to go there myself”

“If ordinary people complain that I speak too much of myself, I complain that they do not even think of themselves.”

“I typically find myself wanting to verify every single fact or idea that I hadn't heard of before, and say either "hold on, I need to think about that for a few minutes" or "let me check that on Google/Wikipedia". In actual conversation I'd suppress this because I suspect the other person will quickly find it extremely annoying. I just think to myself "I'll try to remember what he's saying and check it out later", but of course I don't have such a good memory.”

“I'd thought my way into this mess. I should be able to think my way out, shouldn't I?”

“Stranger, if you passing meet me and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me?
And why should I not speak to you?”

“To distract myself from thoughts of my father, i decided to check out the dead body.”