“Anyone who shoots a real gun at you when drunk and angry is simply not husband material, regardless of his taste in literature.”

“We are going to shoot them, they are going to run; We are going to shoot them, with the machine gun; They are going to run. You are a white man – We are going to hit them – and you are going to run! Shoot the Boer! We are going to hit them – they are going to run! The Cabinet will shoot them with the machine gun! The Cabinet will shoot them with the machine gun! Shoot the Boer!”

“I am an optimist. Anyone interested in the future has to be otherwise he would simply shoot himself.”

“The bitterest creature under heaven is the wife who discovers that her husband’s bravery is only bravado, that his strength is only a uniform, that his power is but a gun in the hands of a fool.”

“The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun”

“For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' “Chuck him out, the brute!”
But it's “Saviour of 'is country” when the guns begin to shoot.”

“I'm too drunk to taste this chicken”

“He's the one
Who likes all our pretty songs
And he likes to sing along
And he likes to shoot his gun
But he knows not what it means.”

“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.”

“The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.”