“I write jokes for a living, I sit at my hotel at night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.”
track 11, "Three Easy Payments"
Mitch All Together (2003)
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Mitch Hedberg 101
American stand-up comedian 1968–2005Related quotes

“This is where I begin to do the writing. I am now going to be the pen and not the paper.”
Nagiko
The Pillow Book

“I just draw what I think is funny, and I hope other people think it is funny, too.”
Address to the Sonoma County Press Club as quoted in the Sonoma County Press Democrat (13 February 2000)

Source: "Chinese writer finds freedom in English" in Reuters https://www.reuters.com/article/us-china-literature-yan-interview/chinese-writer-finds-freedom-in-english-idUSTRE53M00D20090423 (22 April 2009)

“And since, I never dare to write
As funny as I can.”
The Height of the Ridiculous; reported in Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. (1919).

Tim Brouk (September 6, 2007) "Jim Gaffigan returns to his old stomping grounds, Purdue", Journal and Courier, pp. 1, 2D.