“No way! You've gotta be kidding me!…It's gotta be one of the dumbest calls offensively in Super Bowl history. You are on the 1-yard line and you have #24 (Marshawn Lynch) and you drop back pass? Are you kidding me? And also, they ran a pick play - an illegal pick! You deserve an interception!”

“Maybe you don't like some of the things I've said tonight, that's ok. Maybe you don't like me. I could care less. Especially you Christians, you don't gotta like me, you gotta love me. See, I'm a member of your family. And you can pick your friends, but you're stuck with your relatives!”

“Gotta make you love me the way you used to do
Gotta get back the feeling and put wind in my sails
And chart a course that gets me back to you, back to you.
Oh, the lonely days, the lonely nights lookin' back in time.
Time, don't run out on me.”

“Remember when you picked me up like a frisbee and tossed me across you yard?”

“You gotta be a man to play baseball for a living, but you gotta have a lot of little boy in you, too.”

“God always answers prayers. Sometimes it's "yes." Sometimes the answer is "no." Sometimes it's "you gotta be kidding.”

“Kids. You gotta love them. I adore children. A little salt, a squeeze of lemon--perfect.”

“If you want to play, you gotta pay.”

“Now, Michael is claiming racism. I'm going, "Honey, you gotta pick a race first." Baby, what are you claiming, mistreatment of elves? What are you saying?”

“I'll call you," he repeated.
"If you call me, I won't pick up the phone."
"You will wait by the phone for my call, and when it rings, you will pick it up and you will speak to me in a civil manner. If you don't know how, ask someone.”