“Pornography…. the reader panting, eventually masturbating”

“Slothful, feeble, pretentious, pedantic, elitist - these are some of the epithets that eventually become associated with the absent minded scholar, the poor sighted reader, the book worm, the nerd.”

“Pride was the belt you used to hold your pants up when you had no pants.”

“Hey there zombie pants.”

“She accused me of wearing pants from the salvation army."
"Rose, your pants ARE from the salvation army."
"That's SO not the point!”

“Make love’s quick pants”

“His voice wore no pants.”

“And I thought about the color and I realized what blue it was. It was the soft and changeable, essential blue of a well-worn pair of pants.

Pants = Love”

“Men always made crude jokes about people pissing their pants with fear, but in Sokolov’s experience, shitting the pants was more common if it was a straightforward matter of extreme emotional stress. Pants pissing was completely unproductive and suggested a total breakdown of elemental control. Pants shitting, on the other hand, voided the bowels and thereby made blood available to the brain and the large muscle groups that otherwise would have gone to the lower-priority activity of digestion. Sokolov could have forgiven Peter for shitting his pants, but if he had pissed his pants, then it really would have been necessary to get rid of him.”

“Forgive my pants for remaining unshitten.”