“Engvall is in the park flying a kite with his son.
Passerby: Y'all flyin' a kite?
Engvall: Nope, fishin' for birds! Here's your sign.”

—  Bill Engvall

Here's Your Sign Reloaded (2003)
Here's Your Sign

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Bill Engvall photo
Bill Engvall 71
American comedian and actor 1957

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“Engvall and his wife are packing up their stuff to move, with a U-Haul sitting in their driveway.
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“Engvall and his buddy get off a boat with a big string of bass.
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Engvall: Nope, talked 'em into givin' up. Here's your sign.”

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“at the Engvalls' home, Travis is about to play on the piano.
Engvall's son, Travis: I'm going to play you a song from Harry Potter.
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Travis: No, the book. Here's your sign.
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“Engvall pulls his car into a gas station after his tire goes flat.
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“Engvall has an elk hung on the wall.
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“Engvall's car breaks down on a highway, there's smoke pouring out of the hood, and a motorist stops to help him.
Motorist: Did your car break down?
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“In the store, Bill is buying some pants.
Clerk: You gonna buy these?
Engvall: Nope, gonna steal 'em. Just wanted you to see them before I walked out of the store. Here's your sign.”

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“Engvall: Yesterday, my son was out in the yard playing with his friend, and he hit his friend. I walked up to him, and I said, "Hey…" (pantomimes hitting his son) "We don't hit". He looked at me like, "Here's your sign, Dad".”

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“Imagination is the highest kite that can fly.”

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“As told in the final section of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour Christmas CD:
Jeff Foxworthy: Tell 'em the one you did.
Engvall: Aw, why'd you have to bring that up?
Foxworthy: Come on, share that one with the group.
Engvall: Alright. Well, nobody's immune from this, not even me.
Foxworthy: Not even Brainiac here.
Engvall: I'm in the car park at the mall, and there's this guy with a coat hanger inside his window… and I could not stop myself. I said, "You lock your keys in your car?"”

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Driver: No, just washed it, gonna hang it up to dry (dumbass). Here's your sign.
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