“(Voice on television) Midol relives the special pain that women get (Sylvia) when they realize they picked the wrong man, again.”

“(Television) There's a special feeling about being a woman. You do so much for everyone around you. But some days (Sylvia) You realize you've been had.”

“(Television) A recent study concludes that women over 40 have statistically as much chance of getting killed by a terrorist as of getting married. (Sylvia) And would rather.”

“(Man on television) The investment firm of Smith Barney: they make money the old-fashioned way--they earn it. (Sylvia) Right. The rest of us pick it off trees in the backyard.”

“(Television) The brain is differently wired in men and women. (Sylvia) In men, the wires are loose.”

“(Television) Women hold up half the sky. (Sylvia) Uh huh, but in a poor neighborhood.”

“(Voice on television) Honey, I love you, but I got to be moving on. (Sylvia) Break his kneecaps.”

“(Voice on television) Mom, can a douche make you feel more confident? (Sylvia) Not like a good stock portfolio.”

“(Television) Spray and wash gets out what America gets into. (Sylvia) Send some to El Salvador.”

“(Television) Angry women beat up shoe salesman who posed as gynecologist. (Sylvia) I hate guys who do that.”