“I don't want Church to be like all those dead pets! I don't want Church to ever be dead! He's my cat! He's not God's cat! Let God have His own cat! Let God have all the damn old cats He wants, and kill them all! Church is mine!”

“You like the party?
Is it in honour of anything?
My cat's birthday.
Where's your cat?
I don't know, he ran away.”

“Can you imagine those poor bastards grappling their prey, leaping over the rails, swords in hand, screaming 'Your cats! Give us all your god-damned cats!”

“I have to spring a cat out of Rumelt Animal Shelter. Think of it as a prison break."

It does the trick. He laughs. "Whose cat?"

"My cat. What do you think? That I break out the cats of strangers?"

"Let me guess, she was framed. She's innocent.”

“I will now say, not only to our delegate to Congress, but to the Elders who leave the body of the Church, that he thought that all the cats and kittens were let out of the bag when brother Pratt went back last fall, and published the Revelation concerning the plurality of wives: it was thought there was no other cat to let out. But allow me to tell you, Elders of Israel, and delegates to Congress, you may expect an eternity of cats, that have not yet escaped from the bag. Bless your souls, there is no end to them, for if there is not one thing, there will always be another.”

“I'll wager I would have screwed things up regardless. But… can you imagine those poor bastards grappling their prey, leaping over the rails, swords in hand, screaming, 'Your cats! Give us all your gods-damned cats!”

“All [the Snyder v. Westboro Baptist Church case] was, was a protestation by the government of the United States against the word of God. They don't want me preaching that God is punishing America by killing those servicemen.”

“For all the accomplishments of molecular biology, we still can't tell a live cat from a dead cat.”

“You don't take your cat with you to go bird shopping. Not because the cat isn't polite, but because he's a cat.”

“For I will consider my Cat Jeoffry.
For he is the servant of the Living God duly and daily serving him.”