“Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?”

““Checking” is a scale. When you weigh things on the scale called “Checking,” you will gain knowledge of most things you did not know before.”

“Did they live happily ever after? They did not. No one ever does, in spite of what the stories may say. They had their good days, as you do, and they had their bad days, and you know about those. They had their victories, as you do, and they had their defeats, and you know about those, too. There were times when they felt ashamed of themselves, knowing they had not done their best, and there were times when they knew they had stood where their God had meant them to stand. All I'm trying to say is that they lived as well as they could.”

“Did you ever fly a kite in bed?
Did you ever walk with ten cats on your head?
Did you ever milk this kind of cow?
Well, we can do it. We know how.
If you never did, you should.
These things are fun and fun is good.”

“Anytime you start to imagine being the son or daughter of God, then now is a good time to go back to your family tree. Also check your chronological age.”

“Whatever you do, do it good at the time. It wouldn’t come exactly the same in your lifetime again; if at all, it even come. Though, only bad things bounce back in many folds than that of good. Because, good things in general are linked to posterity.”

“Though it might be nice to imagine there once was a time when man lived in harmony with nature, it’s not clear that he ever really did.”

“When first thy pencil did these beaties give
And breathing figures learnt from thee to live”

“Shaq is rich. The white man who signs his check … is wealthy. "Ah, here you go, Shaq. Go buy yourself a bouncing car. Bling, bling!"”

“Did you ever notice how many survivors they have? Did you ever notice that? Everybody — every time you turn around, 15,000 survivors meet here; 400 survivors convention there. I mean, did you ever notice? Nazis sure were inefficient, weren't they? Boy, boy, boy!…You almost have no survivors that ever say they saw a gas chamber or saw the workings of a gas chamber…. they'll say these preposterous stories that anybody can check out to be a lie, an absolute lie.”