“Christianity is the best way to cure gayness—just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of a man into your mouth.”

“The best way to waste your life is by taking notes. The easiest way to avoid living is to just watch.”

“A Christian is a man in Christ. "If any man be in Christ." A Christian is a man for Christ. "Glorify God in your body and spirit which are God's."”

“Happy. Just in my swim shorts, barefooted, wild-haired, in the red fire dark, singing, swigging wine, spitting, jumping, running -- that's the way to live. All alone and free in the soft sands of the beach….”

“Your mouth is the best thing that ever happened to my mouth. -Zane Cutter”

“The best way to get your point across is to entertain.”

“Sometimes, very occasionally, you do your best boxing with your mouth.”

“If you ever plan to motor west,
Travel my way, take the highway that is best.
Get your kicks on route sixty-six.”

“If you want your prayers answered, get up off your knees and do something about them.”

“So get down upon your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!”