“I don't know if you know it, J. B., but you're the sort of fellow who causes hundreds to fall under suspicion when he's found stabbed in his library with a paper-knife of Oriental design.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

Last update June 3, 2021. History

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P.G. Wodehouse 302

English author 1881–1975

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“When a twelfth-century youth fell in love he did not take three paces backward, gaze into her eyes, and tell her she was too beautiful to live. He said he would step outside and see about it. And if, when he got out, he met a man and broke his head—the other man's head, I mean—then that proved that his—the first fellow's—girl was a pretty girl. But if the other fellow broke his head—not his own, you know, but the other fellow's—the other fellow to the second fellow, that is, because of course the other fellow would only be the other fellow to him, not the first fellow who—well, if he broke his head, then his girl—not the other fellow's, but the fellow who was the—Look here, if A broke B's head, then A's girl was a pretty girl; but if B broke A's head, then A's girl wasn't a pretty girl, but B's girl was. That was their method of conducting art criticism.”

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“Cause there's a time when you're right
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“A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.”

Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) American writer

"Maxims Old and New", All of a Piece: New Essays https://books.google.com/books?id=4vEQAAAAMAAJ&focus=searchwithinvolume&q=%22A+fellow+who+is+always+declaring+he%27s+no+fool+usually+has+his+suspicions.%22 (1937), edited by Edward Verrall Lucas, p. 52.
Epigrams

“Oh my god, you stabbed her! You killed her! HELP! HE KILLED HER! HE STABBED HER WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE!”

Markiplier (1989) American YouTuber and Internet personality

…I'm very sorry."
Video game commentary, Calm Time (November 23, 2013)
Source: Calm Time | MOST DISTURBING GAME, Markiplier, wikipedia:Markiplier, November 23, 2013, YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQQLZ6mRyrE,