“The rule is: don’t use commas like a stupid person. I mean it.”
Source: Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
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Lynne Truss 7
British writer 1955Related quotes

“Personally, I quite like that. Such stupid gallantry.
Yes. I like that a lot.”
Source: The Book Thief

“I don’t like to share my personal life… it wouldn’t be personal if I shared it.”

In a Parliamentary debate with the Conservative MP, John Pakington (May 31, 1866). Hansard, vol 183, col 1592. Pakington was referring to Footnote 3 to Chapter 7 of Mill's "Considerations on Representative Government".
Misquoted as "I never meant to say that the Conservatives are generally stupid. I meant to say that stupid people are generally Conservative. I believe that is so obviously and universally admitted a principle that I hardly think any gentleman will deny it." in "Life of John Stuart Mill" (1889) by W. L. Courtney, p. 147.
This seems to have become paraphrased as "Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives." which was a variant published in Quotations for Our Time (1978), edited by Laurence J. Peter.

“Keep your stupid rules
I don't know how to use it
Keep your bad news
I won't read itǃ”

“It is difficult to see the person who admires us as stupid.”
Es ist schwer den, der uns bewundert, für einen Dummkopf zu halten.
Source: Aphorisms (1880/1893), p. 72.

“He was a guy who talked with commas, like a heavy novel. Over the phone anyway.”
Source: The Long Goodbye

Sherilyn Fenn, quoted in "Fenn Fatale", by Mike Bygrave. Sky Magazine (UK). July 1992. p. 6-10.

Interview in regard to his work Rites of Passage, quoted in The Dreams of William Golden, BBC Arena (2012)