“Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp,
Acids stain you,
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses give,
Gas smells awful.
You might as well live.”

“Well, this is a surprise. If you aren't here to give me trouble, then why are you here?”

“Can you smell his sweat? That peculiar goatish odor is trans-3-methyl-2 hexenoic acid. Remember it, it's the smell of schizophrenia.”

“Aw, now look at that, you're being sarcastic, aren't you?”

“So you're tired of living
Feel like you might give in
Well don't.
It's not your time”

“You might as well live”

“You need to look like a lady at the Oscars. Otherwise, Joan Rivers will tear you apart. Then again, you aren't really anyone till Joan Rivers tears you apart.”

“For the cold water to become hot, you have to heat it up. Obviously, for that we need gas. We are waiting for the gas supplies to begin but there aren't any.”

“It is easy to love people when they smell good, but sometimes they slip into the manure of life and smell awful. You must love them just as much when they smell foul.”

“If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.”