“Why don't you just buy me a minivan, zip me into mom jeans, and shoot me in the face" - Melanthe the potential Queen of Persuasions:”

“Oh, don't mind me! Just the queen of the heavens, dying over here!”

“Surely being in love doesn't cause you to lose your sense of good taste. If I ever buy a gown with sequins on it, someone just shoot me.”

“[to a teammate, who just shot at him] "I[t]—Don't shoot me!" [chuckles] "What's wrong with you?"”

“I was at a photo shoot and I was wearing a cross necklace that my mom bought me, and somebody made a joke like, 'Why are you wearing a cross? Like you would be religious,' And then they took it away. I was really affected by that. The whole thing made me realize that I do want [a cross] with me, at all times.”

“Somebody pinch me. You know what? I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough. Somebody shoot me in the face. Is he really not here tonight? Dammit.”

“Love makes us liars. The Seelie Queen told me that. So don't judge me for lying about how I feel. You do it too.”

“Don't try to understand me, just be grateful that you felt the warmth of Zaphod Beeblebrox's aura on your wonderstruck face.”

“Money talks,
But it don't sing and dance.
And it don't walk.
And long as I can have you
Here with me, I'd much rather be
Forever in blue jeans.”

“You're staring at me," Simon said. "Why are you staring at me? Have I got something on my face?”