“Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness.”

“Never put a sock in a toaster.”

“If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.”

“I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

“I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

“I planned my death carefully, unlike my life, which meandered along from one thing to another, despite my feeble attempts to control it.”

“You can converge a toaster and refrigerator, but these things are probably not going to be pleasing to the user.”

“No machine can daydream. When they’re not switched on, they’re as cold as a toaster in a midnight kitchen.”

“Long lives aren't natural. We forget that senior citizens are as much an invention as toasters or penicillin.”

“Every empire, however, tells itself and the world that it is unlike all other empires, that its mission is not to plunder and control but to educate and liberate."

(, July 20, 2003)”