“C'mon, Amy, cinnamon rolls are calling us." Dan put a hand to his ear. "Do you hear? 'Amy? Dan?'" he squeaked. "'Come and get my sugary, sticky goodness!”

“How do you say yoo-hoo in Arabic?"
"I believe that yoo-hoo could be part of a universal language," Dan said. "Like ow. Or- you're stepping on my foot."
"That's universal?"
"No, you're stepping on my foot. Ow."
Amy moved.”

“Wonderful. What's the point of throwing a hissy fit without friends and family on hand to hear it?"
-Amy Cahill”

“Who's Evan?" Ian asked.
"Amy's boyfriend!"
"Amy, since when do you have a boyfriend?" Ian probed.
"Since!”

“Where's Amy?" Ian put in. "Will you please get her to call that Evan character? He rings here twenty times a day. He's either the most mule-headed person who ever lived, or he really likes your sister. She has to have mercy on him–on all of us!”

“Mon ami, if you wish to catch a rabbit you put a ferret into the hole, and if the rabbit is there he runs. That is all I have done.”

“• Dan: I love you.
• Alice: Where?
• Dan: What?
• Alice: Show me. Where is this 'love'? I can't see it, I can't touch it, I can't feel it. I can hear it, I can hear some words but I can't do anything with your easy words.”

“Let's hope it doesn't come to that," Ian put in. "Just fridge yourselves, as Jonah says."
"Dude," Dan said. "Do you mean?"
"Precisely. Just what I said.”

“It's no coincidence that the worst published writer in the world today is also one of the world's most successful writers… Dan Brown. Now Dan Brown is not a good writer, The Da Vinci Code is not literature. Dan Brown writes sentences like "The famous man looked at the red cup." …and it's only to be hoped that Dan Brown never gets a job where he's required to break bad news. "Doctor is he going to be alright?" "The seventy five year old man died a painful death on the large green table… it was sad".”

“My dear children!"
Nellie whopped him upside the head with her backpack.
"Ow!" Uncle Alistair curled over, cupping his hand over his good eye.
"Nellie!" Amy said.
"Sorry," Nellie muttered. "I thought he was one of the bad guys.”