“She’s best friends with my wife. (Julian)
Gracie? You’re married to Gracie? That was you? You’re Mr. Hot Bottom! (Sunshine)”

“Because you know, I’m your best friend, but you’re just not that badass, man.”

“You need friends, especially in the theatre, you need friends. You need people to interchange with, interface with, connect with. Together you’re going to make it, you’re going to do it together, you’re going to put it on, whatever it is.”

“You’re far too prickly tempered to be a mistress. You’re far better suited as a wife.”

“Andrea raised her hand. “This is the hand that slapped Aunt B.”
“Maybe you should have it gold-plated.”
“Here, you can touch it, since you’re my best friend.”

“My wife stood up in the stirrups, grabbed my bottom lip and said "I want morphine!" I said "But, dear —" [vigorously breathing]. She said "You shut up! YOU did this to me!" And on the next contraction she told everybody in the delivery room that my parents were never married.”

“You’re not a stranger; you’re an old friend we haven’t known very long.”

“Tell me the name of your best friend. (Sunshine)
Wulf Tryggvason. (Talon)
Oh my God, you just answered a question. I think the world may end over it. (Sunshine)”

“It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass. ”

“Get over it, Roo. If you have friends who actually like you, you’re popular enough.”