“Are you sure I can’t catch it? (Nick)
I’m positive. Believe me, I know my zombies. (Bubba)
(Nick scoffed.) ‘Is it just me or is that like saying I know my elves and fairies?’ (Nick)”

“I still wanna know who to sue to get my store fixed. (Bubba)
I’m a turnip. Sue the rich kid who started it. (Nick)”

“Well, isn’t that interesting. (Bubba)
I ain’t your science experiment, Bubba. I don’t want to be interesting and I definitely don’t want to be a nubby treat for the zombies. (Nick)”

“But, Bubba? Aren’t you and Mark friends? (Nick)
Ah, hell no. Mark’s not my friend, he’s my minion. (Bubba)”

“One of you guys is going to have to feed the vampiric lawyer some blood and it can’t be me. (Caleb)
Why? You afraid of a little bite?
I’m anemic. (Nick)
And I’m Catholic. Doesn’t that knock me out of the running? (Nick)”

“What is that smell? (Nick)
(It was like three-day-old cat vomit mixed with rotten asparagus.)
Duck urine. It keeps the zombies from thinking I’m human. (Mark)
Yeah, well it keeps me from thinking you’re sane. (Nick)”

“Nick as in my former boyfriend Nick. Ex-rat, ex-boyfriend, ex-alive if I ever got hold of him Nick.”

“Possible or not, they tried to turn me into a Nick McNugget. (Nick)”

“Nick, space. Now. (Acheron)
Go, Nick, fetch. Here, boy, here. You should let me borrow one of those leather collars you wear and give me a tag with Kyrian’s number on it. ‘In case of loss, call my owner.’ (Nick)”

“It’s good to see your friends happy, isn’t it? (Nick)
How would I know? I have no friends. People basically suck and all friends will screw you over in the end. Take my word for it. (Savitar)
Then why am I here? (Nick)
Hell if I know. (Savitar)”