“Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?
Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!”

“Calvin: I'm a genius. I can't believe how smart I am.
… I've got more brains than I know what to do with.
Hobbes: So I've noticed.”

“Calvin: If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.
p55”

“Calvin, what kind of trouble are you planning to make?”
“No trouble at all,” said Calvin, annoyed. “Why do you think I want to cause trouble?”

“Calvin: Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we can think faster than we speak?.
Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
p.171”

“Calvin: Dad where do babies come from?
Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions.
Calvin: I came from Sears?
Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart - almost as good and a lot cheaper!”

“Somebody's out to get you
Hiding in the shadows
Poison arrows!
Somebody's out to break you
Hiding in narrows
Poison arrows!”

“I suspect that God is what you do, not what or who you believe in. When you do right, Jaxie, when you make good - well, then you are an instrument of God. Then you are joined to the divine, to the life force, to life itself. That's what I believe. That's what I hope for. And it's what I have missed. Think of it this way. When somebody does me a kindness, it enlarges me, adds to my life, you see? And not only mine - it adds to all life.”

“Calvin is hammering nails into coffee table.
Mom: CALVIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE COFFEE TABLE?!?
Calvin: Is this some sort of trick question, or what?”

“Well all week long I'm a real nobody,
But I just punched out and its paycheck Friday,
Weekends here, good God almighty,
I'm going to get drunk and be somebody.”