“Baravetto was unconscious when we found him," Hi said. "What'd you do to the guy?"

"Kicked him in the balls, then brained him with a rolling pin. Twice.”

“Now remember this, when a man sticks his hand out to you, you shake it. Then kick him really hard when he's not looking.”

“Hunting party," Horace said
Both Halt and Will looked at him sarcastically.
"You think?" Will said. "Maybe they found the deer and brought him back to repair him.”

“MAN: Kick him-he'll forgive you. Flatter him-he may or may not see through you. But ignore him and he'll hate you”

“He looked from the phone to the unconscious figure of the Salesman. "What did you do to him?" he asked.

"He got the wrong number," Alex said.”

“If you annoy the Hog-nosed Snake enough, he will roll over on his back and play dead. If you turn him right-side up, he will roll over to prove that he is dead. [Footnote:] While he is playing dead, you can go straight up to him and step on his head or smash him with a big club.”

“When he passes the ball it stays passed. The ball goes exactly where he wants it to. I have always loved him for that. I played against him once or twice and he is an absolute genius. He is a role model for anyone who wants to play football. He is a joy to watch. In fact, I wish he was 21, then I could see his career all over again.”

“I hope when he dies, he does become a tree. I hope he's in the middle of the wilderness and he's doing his tree thing. Whatever it is trees do. I know they do a lot of work with breezes. And wouldn't it be fantastic if while he was out there just enjoying his treeness, through the woods, a huge sweaty guy with an ax comes long? Sees him… [tree-chopping motions]. Chops him down, smash! Put a chain around him, drag him through the mud and the muck, throw him into a sawmill and grind him up. [Nuzzsaw noise] Then you pound him down into paper, and once he's paper, you print the Bible on him.”

“A comedy is just a tragedy interrupted, I once said. Do you finish with the kiss or when she opens her eyes to tell him she loves him and sees blonde hairs on his collar?”

“You think I led him on? For what? Kicks? I don't have enough exictement in my life, so maybe I'll tease a nice guy, get his hopes up, then laugh and skip away?”