“Have you ever heard a blindfolded octopus unwrap a cellophane-covered bathtub?”

“(Cartoon title) Don't throw that old diaphragm away! (Sylvia at typewriter) Because it can be used as: 1. Doorknob cover (no need to worry about fingerprints ever again) 2. Bathtub stopper 3) Rainhat for cat 4. Small frisbee.”

“I had a brother once, he drowned in a bathtub,
before he'd ever learned how to talk.
And I don't know what his name was
but my mother does,
I heard her say it once, she said,
"Padraic, my prince, I have all but died from the sheer weight of my shame:
you cried but no-one came."”

“It's like a bar of soap in the bathtub — you have it in your hand until you hold on too tight.”

“I'd Like to be
Under the sea
In an octopus's garden with you.”

“The best AC/DC cover I've heard? There was an all-girl cover band in America, the Hell's Belles.”

“You can swim, too." he says. "Where did you learn that in District Twelve?"
"We have a very big bathtub.”

“On octopuses - When you see 'em in films, they're running about an' that and everyone likes an octopus.”

“If you could just see your face,” she told me. “You look like a cat in a bathtub.”

“Nothing changes instantaneously: in a gradually heating bathtub you'd be boiled to death before you knew it.”