“What is that smell? (Nick)
(It was like three-day-old cat vomit mixed with rotten asparagus.)
Duck urine. It keeps the zombies from thinking I’m human. (Mark)
Yeah, well it keeps me from thinking you’re sane. (Nick)”

“Are you sure I can’t catch it? (Nick)
I’m positive. Believe me, I know my zombies. (Bubba)
(Nick scoffed.) ‘Is it just me or is that like saying I know my elves and fairies?’ (Nick)”

“Yeah, it’s me, but I like to think I looked better when we met. ‘Cause right now, I’m pretty much hogging all the ugly. (Nick)”

“Someone else has to be disseminating it. (Mark)
Dis-a what? (Nick)
Disseminating. It means distributing it. (Mark)
Then why didn’t you say that? (Nick)
Remind me to get him a word-of-the-day calendar. (Mark)”

“Bubba there zombies….. and there trying to eat me!"
-Nick Gautier”

“The only clothes Amanda has are the ones on her back. (Kyrian)
From what I saw, she had no clothes whatsoever on her back. Her front neither. (Nick)
One day, Gaitor bait… (Kyrian)
Note to self- be nice to woman, keep mouth shut. (Nick)”

“"Jolly old St. Nick!*" (Nick Swisher and Nick Johnson)”

“Possible or not, they tried to turn me into a Nick McNugget. (Nick)”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to be in pain, and I definitely don’t want to suffer.” – Nick
“Well…The only way to avoid them is to die.” – Death
“Okay, let’s change the topic now. Oh, look! A chicken.” – Nick”

“One of you guys is going to have to feed the vampiric lawyer some blood and it can’t be me. (Caleb)
Why? You afraid of a little bite?
I’m anemic. (Nick)
And I’m Catholic. Doesn’t that knock me out of the running? (Nick)”