“Ole man trouble
Go find you someone else to pick on.
I live my life now you see.
Ole man trouble,
Please stay away from me, now.Oh I look like I'm down in my luck.
Please send faith to help pick me up.
I've lived this way so many years
Ole man trouble,
Please wash away all my fears.”

“But I've bought a big bat.
I'm all ready, you see.
Now my troubles are going
To have troubles with me!”

“I woke up this morning to a garbage truck
Looks like this ol' horseshoe's done run out of luck
If I came home, would you let me in?
Fry me some pork chops and forgive my sin?”

“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

“When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.”

“When I live holy, He's pleased with me, and when I don't live holy He's not pleased with me, but whether He's pleased with me or not has nothing to do with my salvation… You think your attempt at living holy entitles you to stay in the family of God. That's a dangerous heresy. You are in the family of God (if you are in the family of God at all) by the grace of God, through faith… My salvation is not dependent on my goodness at all.”

“You smell like honeysuckle. You likin' ole Jack now?"

"I never stopped liking you. Even when you were warding me away with the power of Catholicism.”

“…and now, everybody, I want you to listen to me. I'm going to go to my knees, like that, and ask the UFC, my next match, to give me a world title shot. Please! I want the belt so bad! Please give it to me!”

“Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.”

“Good-bye to you too ol' Rights of Man!”