“[On the Ninety-five Theses:]”

“I will not eat cakes or cookies or food. I will be thin, thin, pure. I will be pure and empty. Weight dropping off. Ninety-nine… ninety-five… ninety-two… ninety. Just one more to eighty-nine. Where does it go? Where in the universe does it go?”

“Ninety-five percent of all jobs suck. That’s why people get paid to do them.”

“At any given time, ninety-nine-point-nine-five per cent of the human race are a confounded nuisance”

“Ninety-five percent of all human-readable traffic over the net is spam, a figure virtually unchanged since the late noughties.”

“I hope when I'm ninety-five the only things I want are free: love, family, a good home-cooked meal.”

“Two percent of the people think; three percent of the people think they think; and ninety-five percent of the people would rather die than think.”

“Don't blame you," said Marvin and counted five hundred and ninety-seven thousand million sheep before falling asleep again a second later.”

“All your life people will tell you things. And most of the time, probably ninety-five percent of the time, what they'll tell you will be wrong.”

“In four days, I experienced five seasons. It was thirty, it was sixty, it was ninety, then it was TWELVE! And on the last day, there was thunder, lightning, and snow--together! And I hadn't done drugs.”