“And that's when you realize that God gave you a penis and a brain and only enough blood to run one at a time.”

“Life's like a penis; When it's soft you can't beat it; When it's hard you get screwed. - The Fat Man, Medical Resident in The House of God”

“I was the Sumerian god of fertility. You know what that means, don’t you? (Sin)
You have a lot of penis envy over the other fertility gods? Don’t worry. I won’t tell the other gods about your small penis problem. (Kat)”

“Ethan gave me an admiring look that wasn't about sex, but about that guy moment when they realize you are not just another pretty face, but maybe, just maybe you can be cute, petite, and one of the guys all at the same time.”

“The Truth that is to be Realized may be summarized simply as the Realization that no matter what is arising, no matter how many others are present, there is only One Being. This is precisely different from the childish but common religious notion that even when you are alone there is always Someone Else present, Who will look out for you if you do the right thing. True freedom is not a matter of striking a deal with an All-Powerful Parental Deity; no such God exists. True freedom is in the Realization that there is only God and You are That One.”

“But that was the problem with having the answers. It was only after you gave them that you realized they sometimes weren't what people wanted to hear.”

“God gave me a soul / And your rock 'n' roll
In and out my brain / And running through my vein / You're my sunshine / You're my rain”

“We all have two lives. The second begins when you realize you only have one.”

“Love is Love no matter old you are, and I knew if I gave you enough time, you'd come back to me.”

“Jack: Well, only if you have enough. I'd hate for you to run out to the zoo just for me.”