“Interviewer: In other words you were born with your destiny tied to cows. So, of course you must love cows?”

“To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you. They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect.”

“Was the cow crossed?"
"No, your worship, it was an open cow.”

“I heard Senator Sam Irvin of Watergate fame say something that stayed with me: 'If you can paint a really good picture of a cow, you don't have to write the word "cow" under it.'”

“Holy cow! You were totally right-- whipped cream ROCKS!”

“Sometimes you look in a field and you see a cow and you think it's a better cow than the one you've got in your own field. It's a fact. Right? And it never really works out that way.”

“Interviewer Barb H: Your sound is quite refreshing, did it come naturally?
AP: As natural as the day you were born, my love.”

“You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans.”

“Ball is made of leather, leather comes from cows, cows eat grass, and there is where the ball must be.”

“I don’t have to do nothing you say, you old heifer cow. And you are old. Really, really old. And a cow, too. (Simi)”