“How did you die?"
"We er…. drowned in a bathtub."
"All three of you?"
"It was a big bathtub.”

“I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub.”

“Have you ever heard a blindfolded octopus unwrap a cellophane-covered bathtub?”

“It's like a bar of soap in the bathtub — you have it in your hand until you hold on too tight.”

“If you could just see your face,” she told me. “You look like a cat in a bathtub.”

“Nothing changes instantaneously: in a gradually heating bathtub you'd be boiled to death before you knew it.”

“If my mom told one more story about how cute I looked in the bathtub when I was three years old I was going to burrow into the snow and freeze myself to death.”

“There's enough chocolate in there to fill every bathtub in the entire country! And all the swimming pools as well!”

“people run from rain but
sit
in bathtubs full of
water.”

“I had a brother once, he drowned in a bathtub,
before he'd ever learned how to talk.
And I don't know what his name was
but my mother does,
I heard her say it once, she said,
"Padraic, my prince, I have all but died from the sheer weight of my shame:
you cried but no-one came."”