“Excruciating agony makes me cranky.”

“Akri infallible. Well, except for a couple of things, and we don’t talk about those ‘cause it makes akri cranky. I like that word ‘infallible.’ It just like me. Infallible. (Simi)”

“You are not mean. Cranky is different.”

“All men will come to me in due time, but theirs is the agony of awaiting.”

“I’m not him and he’s not me, but what I’m required to do for him and what I am enabled to do for him is what makes it like me. It fits my particular talents and skills very well. So in that respect, yeah, he is me, but I am not the cranky, sarcastic, underachieving kind of guy that he is. He’s easy to fall in, I will say that.”

“Hadn't one of my all-time favorite reveries been to become a cranky hermit, live unperturbed in my house, and have things brought to me like a monarch or tribal lord?”

“(About Oprah Winfrey) She's very thin now, she's very cranky….. and very hungry!”

“I have a motto: My job is not to make up anybody's mind but to make the agony of decision making so intense that you can escape only by thinking.”

“My true single consolation is that she is not present to see me in my agony of her death.”

“Hodge sent me to wake you up. Actually, he offered to wake you up himself, but since it's five a. m., I figured you'd be less cranky if you had something nice to look at.”