“Charlie Asher: Mrs. Ling, is that duck wearing trousers?
Mrs. Ling: Could be…. You hear of paper-wrap chicken? This duck in pants.”

“If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck!”

“Well, yes, I call it the Expando-Duck. It's perfect if you need a small metal duck. Or a larger metal duck.”

“When I see a bird that walks like a duck and swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, I call that bird a duck. ”

“Was that you or the duck?”

“The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck.”

“Death strode away, stopped, and came back. He pointed a skeletal finger at The Duck Man.
WHY, he said, ARE YOU WALKING AROUND WITH THAT DUCK?
"What duck?"
AH. SORRY.”

“The paper does not provide the exact number of penises eaten by ducks, but the author says there have been enough over the years to prompt the coining of a popular saying: 'I better get home or the ducks will have something to eat.”

“I shall never eat duck again. I cannot believe I used to like duck. The duck betrayed me.”

“Remember when you tried to convince me to feed a poultry pie to the mallards in the park to see if you could breed a race of cannibal ducks?"

"They ate it too," Will reminisced. "Bloodthirsty little beasts. Never trust a duck.”