“I don't just like sexual double entendres I love them, I stroke them, I milk them, I spank them when they're naughty.”

“They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs?”

“I like them all. … They're all pictures of me when I wrote them. … I have no favorite songs.”

“I am supposed to exploit the consumer; and I will (exploit them), but not in a way that will create resentment. I have to milk the consumer. And milk them I will, but gently.”

“And mostly all I have to say about these songs is that I love them, and want to sing along to them, and force other people to listen to them, and get cross when these other people don't like them as much as I do.”

“I am reverential to great stars. I don't want sexual congress with them. The writer in me reveres the artist in them.”

“I love them hoes, love them hoes, love them hoes
I love them hoes, love them hoes, love them hoes
I love them hoes, love them hoes, love them hoes
I love them—ooh!—hoes”

“I grant that I am full of prejudices; I sucked them in with my mother's milk, and I cannot possibly argue them away.”

“I like to watch people. Sometimes I ride the subway all day and look at them and listen to them. I just want to figure out who they are and what they want and where they're going.”

“"I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God." And I say no, it's not, Dad. "Well, I believe that it is." Well, you know, some people believe they're Napoleon. That's fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don't share them like they're the truth.”