“If you gave [Jerry] Falwell an enema he could be buried in a matchbox.”

— Christopher Hitchens

Last update Oct. 23, 2017. History

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Christopher Hitchens 305

British American author and journalist 1949–2011

Wendy Kaminer (1949) American lawyer

"Our Very Own Taliban" (17 September 2001) http://prospect.org/cs/articles?article=our_very_own_taliban
Context: Jerry Falwell knows who caused the terrorist attack on America: the ACLU. “The ACLU’s got to take a lot of blame for this,” he declared on the 700 Club, because, he explained, the ACLU, abetted by the federal courts is responsible for “throwing God out of the public square (and) the public schools.”
This is a familiar charge and a false one. God is still present in the public schools, where students are free to pray, alone or in groups, so long as their prayers aren’t officially sponsored and don’t infringe on anyone’s freedom not to pray.

“My mother always told me that no matter how much you dislike a person, when you meet them face to face you will find characteristics about them that you like. Jerry Falwell was a perfect example of that. I hated everything he stood for, but after meeting him in person, years after the trial, Jerry Falwell and I became good friends. He would visit me in California and we would debate together on college campuses. I always appreciated his sincerity even though I knew what he was selling and he knew what I was selling.”

Larry Flynt (1942) American publisher

Larry Flynt's Official Response to Jerry Falwell's Death, 2009-05-12, 2007-05-16, Pine Magazine http://www.pinemagazine.com/site/article/772,

“My capacity for happiness," he added, "you could fit into a matchbox without taking out the matches first”

Douglas Adams The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy pentalogy

Source: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“While liberals appeared to be safely in power, feminists could perhaps afford the luxury of defining Larry Flynt or Roman Polanski as Enemy Number One. Now that we have to cope with Jerry Falwell and Jesse Helms, a rethinking of priorities seems in order.”

Ellen Willis (1941–2006) writer, activist

"Lust Horizons: Is the Woman's Movement Pro-Sex?" (1981), No More Nice Girls: Countercultural Essays (1992)

“Neither party should be defined by pandering to the outer reaches of American politics and the agents of intolerance, whether they be Louis Farrakhan and Al Sharpton on the left, or Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell on the right.”

John McCain (1936–2018) politician from the United States

Address at Virginia Beach (2000), as quoted in The Washington Post http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/aponline/20000228/aponline165646_000.htm (28 February 2000).
2000s

“On Tuesday, May 14, the old fat false prophet Jerry Falwell died and entered hell. As the old preacher used to put it, he split hell wide open… Hell from beneath was moved to meet Falwell at his coming, rousing the dead, even those that used to be bigshots on Earth now in hell greeting him with such words as these: 'Why, hello, Reverend Fraudwell, you old money-grubbing pervert!'… As a young preacher in Springfield, Missouri, Falwell was a true Calvinistic Baptist preacher who believed and preached the truth. But he saw early on that his lust for power and lucre could never be satisfied if he was faithful to the word of God. And so the old fool like the false prophet Balaam sold his soul for a mess of free will-ism, God loves everybody-ism, Arminianism, lies — sold his soul for lies.”

Fred Phelps (1929–2014) American pastor and activist

2000s, Jerry Falwell Split Hell Wide Open (2007)

“The Encyclopoedia Britannica could be reduced to the volume of a matchbox. A library of a million volumes could be compressed into one end of a desk.”

Vannevar Bush book As We May Think

As We May Think (1945)
Context: The Encyclopoedia Britannica could be reduced to the volume of a matchbox. A library of a million volumes could be compressed into one end of a desk. If the human race has produced since the invention of movable type a total record, in the form of magazines, newspapers, books, tracts, advertising blurbs, correspondence, having a volume corresponding to a billion books, the whole affair, assembled and compressed, could be lugged off in a moving van. Mere compression, of course, is not enough; one needs not only to make and store a record but also to be able to consult it, and this aspect of the matter comes later. Even the modern great library is not generally consulted; it is nibbled by a few.

“Out upon you, Jerry! Jerry, you're a pity!
Jerry, turn about and plant a garden in the City!”

Eleanor Farjeon (1881–1965) English children's writer

The Garden City
More Nursery Rhymes of London Town (1917)

“William always scanned the airports and airplanes for little brown guys who reeked of fundamentalism. That meant William was equally afraid of Osama bin Laden and Jerry Falwell wearing the last vestiges of a summer tan. William himself was a little brown guy, so the other travelers were always sniffing around him, but he smelled only of Dove soap, Mennen deoderant, and sarcasm.”

Sherman Alexie (1966) Native American author and filmmaker

Ten Little Indians (2003)

“On how he met Jerry Cantrell, quoted in”

Layne Staley (1967–2002) American singer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALAJkqgGgVM, Layne Staley Interviewed by Don Kaye in 1996

“If you gave [Jerry] Falwell an enema he could be buried in a matchbox.”

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Christopher Hitchens 305

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