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Jacob William „Will” Cuppy – amerykański komik, pisarz, satyryk i krytyk literacki.

✵ 23. Sierpień 1884 – 19. Wrzesień 1949
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Will Cuppy: 120   Cytatów 0   Polubień

Will Cuppy cytaty

„Jeżeli zwierzę coś zrobi, nazywamy to instynktem, jeżeli zrobi to człowiek, nazywamy to inteligencją.”

Will Cuppy

If an animal does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence. (ang.)

O inteligencji , O zwierzętach

Will Cuppy: Cytaty po angielsku

“Thenceforth Jeanne's deeper infatuations always seemed to concern gentlemen of a certain age and standing in the financial world. Older men say such interesting things, and Jeanne was always a good listener. Anything you said was news to her.”

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Will Cuppy

The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part IV: A Few Greats, Madame du Barry

“[Footnote:] Other foolish birds include the Semipalmated Plover, the Marbled Godwit, the Carolina Mosshead, the Tasmanian Googlenose and the Fool Hen or Franklin Grouse of the Rockies.”

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Will Cuppy

The Dotterel
How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes (1931)

“[Footnote] Pericles immediately banished his strongest rival, Cimon, who had achieved popularity by bringing the bones of Theseus, slayer of the Minotaur, back to Athens from the island of Scyros. As Theseus was a myth, he could hardly have had any bones. Nevertheless, Cimon brought them back.”

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Will Cuppy

The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part II: Ancient Greeks and Worse, Pericles

“Charlemagne's strong point was morals. He was so moral that some people thought he was only fooling. These people came to no good.”

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Will Cuppy

The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part III: Strange Bedfellows, Charlemagne

“Other kings let their ministers make their mistakes for them, but Louis insisted on making the important mistakes personally.”

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Will Cuppy

The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part IV: A Few Greats, Louis XIV

“[Footnote] Great men seem to have only one purpose in life — getting into history. That may be all they are good for.”

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Will Cuppy

The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part VI: Now We're Getting Somewhere, Captain John Smith

“As the average Athenian citizen was not awfully bright, it was necessary to have a great many of them on each jury. … They did not have to prove that they were completely ignorant before they were accepted as jurymen. That was taken for granted.”

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Will Cuppy

The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part II: Ancient Greeks and Worse, Pericles

“The Modern Man or Nervous Wreck is the highest of all mammals because anyone can see that he is. There are about 2,000,000,000 Modern Men, or too many. The Modern Man's highly developed brain has made him what he is and you know what he is. [Footnote: It is because of his brain that he has risen above the animals. Guess which animals he has risen above. ]”

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The Modern Man
How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes (1931)

“They [Xanthippus, Aristides the Just, and Themistocles] all won lasting renown by constantly accusing one another of peculation and fraud and calling names at election time.”

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The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part II: Ancient Greeks and Worse, Pericles

“Egyptologists say they have no idea what Khufu was doing when he was not building pyramids, since he left no inscriptions describing his daily activities, and they would give a good deal to know. Then they say he had six wives and a harem full of concubines. They do not seem to make the connection, but you get it and I get it. We do not need any hieroglyphics to inform us that Khufu dropped around occasionally to see how things were getting along and to tell the ladies how many cubic yards of limestone he had laid that afternoon.”

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Will Cuppy

The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part I: It Seems There Were Two Egyptians, Cheops, or Khufu

“Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.”

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How to Get from January to December (1951)

“He [Pericles] reduced the power of the Council of the Areopagus, a group of feeble old men who held their jobs for life and whose duty it was to declare everything null and void… [Footnote] He also revoked their right to censor the private lives of the citizens. This was nasty of Pericles, for about the only pleasure the old fellows had was catching some citizen doing what he shouldn't. After that, they had to use their imaginations.”

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The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part II: Ancient Greeks and Worse, Pericles

“[Footnote:] Most people erroneously call this snake the Puff Adder, Beach Adder, or Blowing Viper. So, naturally, they kill it.”

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The Hog-Nosed Snake
How to Become Extinct (1941)

“I only know that all is lost, and that nothing can help me unless I inherit money, strike oil or go to work.”

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Will Cuppy

Coffee, Please!
How to Be a Hermit (1929)

“She was one of the victims of the French Revolution, a thing thought up by some philosophers who wished to make the world a better place to live in. They wanted all the French to be free and equal and happy, and they tried to bring this about by decapitating as many of them as possible.”

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The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part IV: A Few Greats, Madame du Barry

“Right here I might offer a word of advice to the Ivory-billed Woodpecker, now the rarest bird on the North American continent and one that is going to come in for more and more attention. Keep away from bird lovers, fellows, or you'll be standing on a little wooden pedestal with a label containing your full name in Latin: Campephilus principalis. People will be filing past admiring your glossy blue-black feathers, your white stripes and patches, your nasal plumes in front of lores, your bright red crest and your beady yellow eyes. You'll be in the limelight, but you won't know it. I don't want to alarm you fellows, but there are only about twenty of you alive as I write these lines, but there are more than two hundred of you in American museums and in collections owned by Ivory-billed Woodpecker enthusiasts. Get it?”

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And I Ought to Know
How to Become Extinct (1941)

“[Footnote:] Much still remains to be learned about his sex life because the Hummingbird is quicker than the eye.”

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The Hummingbird
How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes (1931)

“Captain Smith reached Virginia on April 26, 1607, with a number of English gentlemen and some people who were willing to work. Then they all held a meeting to discuss ways and means of civilizing everybody. They made a great many speeches and accused each other of various crimes and misdemeanors and arrested some of themselves as an object lesson, and American history was started at last.”

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The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part VI: Now We're Getting Somewhere, Captain John Smith

“[Footnote:]Each male has from 2 to 790 females with whom he discusses current events. Of these he marries from 3 to 17.”

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The Modern Man
How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes (1931)

“[Footnote:] We have no Common Vipers in the United States, but we have worse.”

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The Common Viper
How to Become Extinct (1941)

“Aristotle described the Crow as chaste. In some departments of knowledge, Aristotle was too innocent for his own good.”

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The Crow
How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes (1931)

“[Footnote] The Mexicans gave the Spaniards malaria, and the Spaniards gave the Mexicans smallpox, whooping cough, diphtheria, and syphilis. The Spaniards believed it was better to give than to receive.”

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The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part VI: Now We're Getting Somewhere, Montezuma

“Then Hamilcar … was drowned in 228 B. C. while crossing a stream with a herd of elephants.”

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The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part II: Ancient Greeks and Worse, Hannibal

“She was the most intelligent woman of her day and she refused to get married in nine languages.”

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The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part V: Merrie England, Elizabeth

“Male penguins are unfaithful up to an advanced age, a phenomenon sometimes attributed to the sea air.”

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The Penguin
How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes (1931)

“Henry VIII had so many wives because his dynastic sense was very strong whenever he saw a maid of honor.”

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The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part V: Merrie England, Henry VIII

“The Age of Reptiles ended because it had gone on long enough and it was all a mistake in the first place. A better day was dawning at the close of the Mesozoic Era. There were some little warm-blooded animals around which had been stealing and eating the eggs of the Dinosaurs, and they were gradually learning to steal other things, too. Civilization was just around the corner.”

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The Dinosaur
How to Become Extinct (1941)

“Although this structure [the Great Pyramid of Giza] failed as a tomb, it is one of the wonders of the world even today because it is the largest thing ever built for the wrong reason.”

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The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part I: It Seems There Were Two Egyptians, Cheops, or Khufu

“He [Julius Caesar] stayed in Egypt from early October until late in June settling affairs of state. It was a boy and they called him Caesarion, or Little Caesar, so Cleopatra now regarded herself as practically engaged. Caesar might have married her, but he had a wife at home. There's always something.”

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The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part II: Ancient Greeks and Worse, Cleopatra

“I think you are absolutely right about everything, except I think humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.”

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Will Cuppy

From a letter to Max Eastman, 1936, about Eastman's book, The Enjoyment of Laughter ISBN 0-38413-740-7 (reprint). Eastman mss. http://www.indiana.edu/~liblilly/lilly/mss/html/eastman.html, Lilly Library, Indiana University, Bloomington.