Susanna Kaysen cytaty
strona 2

Susanna Kaysen – amerykańska powieściopisarka. Przez blisko 2 lata była pacjentką szpitala psychiatrycznego McLean, co stało się kanwą dla jej powieści Przerwana lekcja muzyki . Zdiagnozowano wówczas u niej osobowość borderline, którą tłumaczono jej tylko jako zaburzenia osobowości. Rzeczywistą diagnozę poznała po zdobyciu z pomocą prawnika swojej kartoteki szpitalnej. W roku 1999 na podstawie książki powstał film Przerwana lekcja muzyki z Winoną Ryder i Angeliną Jolie w rolach głównych. Wikipedia

✵ 11. Listopad 1948  •  Natępne imiona Σουζάννα Κέισεν

Susanna Kaysen: 71 cytatów4 Polubienia

Susanna Kaysen słynne cytaty

„Czubek trochę przypomina osobę obarczoną obowiązkiem pełnienia roli reprezentacyjnej. Często szalona jest cała rodzina, ale ponieważ cała rodzina nie może iść do szpitala, wyznacza się na wariata jedną osobę, reprezentanta, który zostaje hospitalizowany.”

Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Przerwana lekcja muzyki

„(…) jeśli jesteś smutny, to bardzo pragniesz, by swój smutek usłyszeć przekształcony w dźwięk.”

Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Przerwana lekcja muzyki

„(…) cierpienia dawały mi ponurą satysfakcję. Udowadniały, że istnieję. Zdawało się, że kiedy mówię nie, kłamie całe moje jestestwo.”

Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Przerwana lekcja muzyki

„To, że nie śpię wcale nie oznacza, że nie odpoczywam.”

Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Przerwana lekcja muzyki

„Bez względu na to, jak to nazywamy – umysł, dusza czy charakter – chcielibyśmy myśleć, że posiadamy w sobie coś więcej niż tylko zbiór neuronów, który nas „ożywia.””

Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Przerwana lekcja muzyki

„Właściwie nie wiadomo, czy to szpital specjalizował się w poetach i muzykach, czy też poeci i muzycy specjalizowali się w szaleństwie?”

Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Susanna Kaysen: Cytaty po angielsku

“In a strange way we were free. We'd reached the end of the line. We had nothing more to lose. Our privacy, our liberty, our dignity: all of this was gone and we were stripped down to the bare bones of our selves.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Źródło: Girl, Interrupted (1994)

“Whatever we call it - mind, character, soul - we like to think we possess something that is greater than the sum of our neurons and that animates us.”

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“It was a spring day, the sort that gives people hope: all soft winds and delicate smells of warm earth. Suicide weather.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Girl, Interrupted (1994)

“It's a long way from not having enough serotonin to thinking the world is "stale, flat and unprofitable"; even further to writing a play about a man driven by that thought.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Źródło: Girl, Interrupted

“I had an inspiration once. I woke up one morning and I knew that it was my task to swallow fifty asprin. It was my task:my job for the day.-17 Girl Interrupted”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Źródło: Girl, Interrupted

“What is it about meter and cadence and rhythm that makes their makers mad?”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Źródło: Girl, Interrupted

“I can honestly say that my misery had been transformed into common unhappiness, so by Freud's definition I have achieved mental health.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Źródło: Girl, Interrupted

“And in the end, I lost him. I did it on purpose, the way Garance lost
Baptiste in the crowd. I needed to be alone, I felt. I wanted to be going on alone to my future.”

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“I think many people ill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Wariant: I think many people kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't.
Źródło: Girl, Interrupted

“People ask, How did you get in there? What they really want to know is if they are likely to end up in there as well. I can't answer the real question. All I can tell them is, It's easy. Most people pass over incrementally, making a series of perforations in the membrane between here and there until an opening exists. And who can resist an opening?”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Źródło: Girl, Interrupted (1994)

“This behavior may… counteract feelings of'numbness'and depersonalization that aries duriing periods of extreme stress.-153 Girl, Interrupted”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Źródło: Girl, Interrupted

“My chronic feelings of emptiness and boredom came from the fact that I was living a life based on my incapacities, which were numerous.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Źródło: Girl, Interrupted

“But when they were done, I wondered if there would be a next time. I felt good. I wasn’t dead, yet something was dead. Perhaps I’d managed my peculiar objective of partial suicide. I was lighter, airier than I’d been in years.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Źródło: Girl, Interrupted

“The girl at her music sits in another sort of light, the fitful, overcast light of lie, by which we see ourselves and others only imprefectly, and seldom..-Girl, Interrupted”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Źródło: Girl, Interrupted (1994)
Kontekst: I've gone back to the Frick since then to look at her and at the two other Vermeers. Vermeers, after all, are hard to come by, and the one in Boston has been stolen. The other two are self-contained paintings. The people in them are looking at each other -- the lady and her maid, the soldier and his sweetheart. Seeing them is peeking at them through a hole in a wall. And the wall is made of light -- that entirely credible yet unreal Vermeer light. Light like this does not exist, but we wish it did. We wish the sun could make us young and beauitful, we wish our clothes could glisten and ripple against our skins, most of all, we wish that everyone we knew could be brightened simply by our looking at them, as are the maid with the letter and the soldier with the hat. The girl at her music sits in another sort of light, the fitful, overcast light of life, by which we see ourselves and others only imperfectly, and seldom.

“Maybe, there's a moment growing up when something peels back… Maybe, maybe, we look for secrets because we can't believe our mind.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Źródło: Girl, Interrupted

“It's a fairly accurate portrait of me at eighteen, minus a few quirks like reckless driving and eating binges. It's accurate but it isn't profound.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Źródło: Girl, Interrupted

“Once you've posed that question, it won't go away. I think many people kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Źródło: Girl, Interrupted

“Every few months Torrey’s parents flew from Mexico to Boston to harangue her. She was crazy, she had driven them crazy, she was malingering, they couldn’t afford it, and so forth. After they left Torrey would give a report in her tired drawl. “Then Mom said, ‘You made me into an alcoholic,’ and then Dad said, ‘I’m going to see you never get out of this place,’ and then they sort of switched and Mom said, ‘You’re nothing but a junkie,’ and Dad said, ‘I’m not going to pay for you to take it easy in here while we suffer.’ ” “Why do you see them?” Georgina asked. “Oh,” said Torrey. “It’s how they show their love,” said Lisa. Her parents never made contact with her. The nurses agreed with Lisa. They told Torrey she was mature for agreeing to see her parents when she knew they were going to confuse her. Confuse was the nurses’ word for abuse.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Girl, Interrupted (1994)

“My self-image was not unstable. I saw myself, quite correctly, as unfit for the educational and social systems.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Girl, Interrupted (1994)

“They did not put much value on my capacities, which were admittedly few, but genuine. I read everything, I wrote constantly, and I had boyfriends by the barrelful. “Why don’t you do the assigned reading?” they’d ask. “Why don’t you write your papers instead of whatever you’re writing—what is that, a short story?” “Why don’t you expend as much energy on your schoolwork as you do on your boyfriends?” By my senior year I didn’t even bother with excuses, let alone explanations. “Where is your term paper?” asked my history teacher. “I didn’t write it. I have nothing to say on that topic.” “You could have picked another topic.””

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

“I have nothing to say on any historical topic.”
Girl, Interrupted (1994)

“My classmates were spinning their fantasies for the future: lawyer, ethnobotanist, Buddhist monk (it was a very progressive high school). Even the dumb, uninteresting ones who were there to provide “balance” looked forward to their marriages and their children. I knew I wasn’t going to have any of this because I knew I didn’t want it. But did that mean I would have nothing? I was the first person in the history of the school not to go to college.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Girl, Interrupted (1994)

“Most of us saw our therapists every day. Cynthia didn’t; she had therapy twice a week and shock therapy once a week. And Lisa didn’t go to therapy. She had a therapist, but he used her hour to take a nap. If she was extremely bored, she’d demand to be taken to his office, where she’d find him snoozing in his chair. “Gotcha!” she’d say. Then she’d come back to the ward. The rest of us traipsed off day after day to exhume the past.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Girl, Interrupted (1994)

“The world didn’t stop because we weren’t in it anymore; far from it. Night after night tiny bodies fell to the ground on our TV screen: black people, young people, Vietnamese people, poor people—some dead, some only bashed up for the moment. There were always more of them to replace the fallen and join them the next night. Then came the period when people we knew—not knew personally, but knew of—started falling to the ground: Martin Luther King, Robert Kennedy. Was that more alarming? Lisa said it was natural. “They gotta kill them,” she explained. “Otherwise it’ll never settle down.””

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Girl, Interrupted (1994)

“I got better and Daisy didn't and I can't explain why. Maybe I was just flirting with madness the way I flirted with my teachers and classmates. I wasn't convinced I was crazy, though I feared I was. Some people say that having any conscious opinion on the matter is a mark of sanity, but I'm not sure that's true. I still think about it. I'll always have to think about it.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Girl, Interrupted (1994)

“Is this the type of friend or lover I want to have? I ask myself every time I meet someone new. Charming but shallow; good-hearted but a bit conventional; too handsome for his own good; fascinating but probably unreliable; and so forth. I guess I've had my share of unreliables. More than my share? How many would constitute more than my share?”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Girl, Interrupted (1994)

“Borderline Personality Disorder* An essential feature of this disorder is a pervasive pattern of instability of self-image, interpersonal relationships, and mood, beginning in early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts. A marked and persistent identity disturbance is almost invariably present. This is often pervasive, and is manifested by uncertainty about several life issues, such as self-image, sexual orientation, long-term goals or career choice, types of friends or lovers to have, and which values to adopt.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Girl, Interrupted (1994)

“I was that one who wore black and—really, I’ve heard it from several people—slept with the English teacher.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Girl, Interrupted (1994)

“Often an entire family is crazy, but since an entire family can’t go into the hospital, one person is designated as crazy and goes inside. Then, depending on how the rest of the family is feeling, that person is kept inside or snatched out, to prove something about the family’s mental health.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Girl, Interrupted (1994)

“Later that day, when Alice was off having a Rorschach, I asked, “How can a person who’s never eaten honey have a family that can afford to send her here?” “Probably really incredibly crazy and interesting, so they let her in for less,” said Georgina.”

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Girl, Interrupted (1994)

“When she’d been with us a month or so, Lisa Cody got a diagnosis. She was a sociopath too. She was happy, because she wanted to be like Lisa in all things. Lisa was not so happy, because she had been the only sociopath among us. “We are very rare,” she told me once, “and mostly we are men.””

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Susanna Kaysen książka Przerwana lekcja muzyki

Girl, Interrupted (1994)