“A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?”

“You know how cats do. They hide to die. Dogs come home.”

“One small cat changes coming home to an empty house to coming home.”

“Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice 'but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing i ever saw in my life!”

“I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.”

“Well fare she, well! As perfect beauty fares;
And those high places, that are beauty's home.”

“Now I have a cat. Well, that's not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other.”

“Cats randomly refuse to follow orders to prove they can.”

““What civilization would be complete without a cat?” the Professor went on. “What greater blessing to the home than the kindly yet watchful eye of this tiger of the fireside?””

“At dinner time, Nasreddin finds no meat on the table. He asks his wife, "What happened to the meat?"
His wife replies, "The cat ate it."
Nasreddin breezes into the kitchen, puts the cat on the scales, and discovers the cat to be weighing three pounds. Nasreddin quizzically questions the result, "If the meat I brought home weighed three pounds, then, where is the cat? And, if this happens to be the cat, then what happened to the meat?"”