“Okay, Barrons, it's time."
"I am not helping you shave your legs." he said instantly.
"Oh please. As if I'd let you.”

“The secret of a long marriage is shaving your legs every day... because it shows you still care.”

“You okay now?" he asked.
"Okay."
He tightened his arms and lifted me off my feet. "Mercy?" he growled into my ear. I wrapped my legs around his waist. " Yeah", I said. "Me too.”

“The leg division, Mr Spiggot. You are deficient in it to the tune of one. Your right leg, I like. I like your right leg, it's a lovely leg for the role. That's what I said when I saw it come in. I said, "that's a lovely leg for the role". I've got nothing against your right leg. The trouble is — neither have you. You fall down on your left.”

“You know, I would date, if I could find a man worth shaving my legs for. (Grace)”

“Can you please crawl out your window? Use your arms and your legs, it won't ruin you”

“I am not an expert at praying, as you know. But can you please help me? I am in desperate need of help. I don't know what to do. I need an answer. Please tell me what to do…”

“You know, I would date if I could find a man worth shaving my legs for. But most are such a waste of time that I’d rather sit at home and watch reruns of Hee Haw.”

“Why is it that every time a girl says a guy is bothering her, it's fluffed off with oh, he just likes you, as if that makes it okay?”

“Sheriff Bart: Since I am your host and you are my guest what are your hobbies? What do you like to do in your free time?
Jim "The Waco Kid": Oh you know, play chess…screw.
Sheriff Bart: Well let's play chess!”