“Hey guys, sorry I'm late, I'm afraid I got lost on the path of life.”

“I'm not afraid of life and I'm not afraid of death: Dying's the bore.”

“My whole life is made up of: "I'm sorry". I feel like I have to apologize to people, to things, to life itself. It's like, "I'm sorry to be here". I don't want to disturb anyone. But in my work, in the clothes I create, I'm actually telling people that I'm here. So, I guess I'm disturbing them, after all.”

“Hey guys, there isn't gonna be a Plan B. You called me in to bring the thunder and that's what I'm gonna do.”

“Sorry we’re late,” Jason said. “Is this the guy who needs killing?”

“I was walking by a dry cleaner at 3 a. m., and it said "Sorry, we're closed." You don't have to be sorry. It's 3 a. m., and you're a dry cleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna walk by at 10 a. m. and say "Hey, I walked by at 3, you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology. This jacket would be halfway done!"”

“I lost my soul as a human being. I lost my self-respect. I'm not a lovable guy, so it's really not hard for people to dislike me.”

“I'm not the type of guy who is greedy. I take what they give me. If they say, 'Hey, go to quarterback,' I go to quarterback. I just have that type of mind.”

“I've never had the impertinence to be sorry for Helen Keller. I'd as soon be sorry for Niagara Falls. But now as I bring the story up to date, I'm shriveled with shame when I recall that at times in my life — my easy life — I've actually been sorry for myself. You too? We've got our nerve, haven't we?”

“I got into a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."”