
“He had gained all the power he had dreamed of then—and had not known a moment of peace since.”
Source: She Is the Darkness (1997), Chapter 5 (p. 288)
Source: Space Chantey (1968), Ch. 6
Context: Something was working in Roadstrum's little ape head. When he had been a man he had always known when it was time for action; particularly he had always known the last moment when action was still possible. He knew now that that moment was come very near. … Then a blinding light burst upon Roadstrum, and he saw the truth of the situation. Many things Roadstrum was not, and it was sometimes wondered why he was the natural leader of all the men. He was their leader because he was a man on whom the blinding light sometimes descended.
“He had gained all the power he had dreamed of then—and had not known a moment of peace since.”
Source: She Is the Darkness (1997), Chapter 5 (p. 288)
Source: Way Station (1963), Ch. 25
Context: That had not been the first time nor had it been the last, but all the years of killing boiled down in essence to that single moment — not the time that came after, but that long and terrible instant when he had watched the lines of men purposefully striding up the slope to kill him.
It had been in that moment that he had realized the insanity of war, the futile gesture that in time became all but meaningless, the unreasoning rage that must be nursed long beyond the memory of the incident that had caused the rage, the sheer illogic that one man, by death or misery, might prove a right or uphold a principle.
Somewhere, he thought, on the long backtrack of history, the human race had accepted an insanity for a principle and had persisted in it until today that insanity-turned-principle stood ready to wipe out, if not the race itself, at least all of those things, both material and immaterial, that had been fashioned as symbols of humanity through many hard-won centuries.
“And wishes he had known these things
while still alive.”
"Temporary And Eternal" - Live performance, later used on the compilation album The Keep (16 May 1995) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiIqnvFAoHs
Equipoise (1993)
Context: He is broken, far from free
Words were spoken, 'tween him and me:
"I had friends, yes, I was admired
I'm so old now, feel so tired."
Well he walks to the gate and he looks behind
at life in rewind
And wishes he had known these things
while still alive.