“How many Macintosh division employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?" The answer is one. The Macintosh division employee holds up the light bulb and expects the universe to revolve around it.”

The answer to that is none because Bill Gates has declared darkness the new standard.
Speech at Stanford University 2 March 2011 http://ecorner.stanford.edu/authorMaterialInfo.html?mid=2669

Speech at Stanford University 2 March 2011 http://ecorner.stanford.edu/authorMaterialInfo.html?mid=2669<!-- This joke had been in circulation many years previously. Is there any reason to believe it is original to Kawasaki? -->

Here Comes the Sun (1993)

Heard in the D. A. Pennebaker documentary Dont Look Back (1967)

Bucky Katt, Dialogue

Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need (1991)

Source: Anne Sexton: A Self-Portrait in Letters

Speech at Stanford University 2 March 2011 http://ecorner.stanford.edu/authorMaterialInfo.html?mid=2669

Source: Dance Dance Dance