“I went to a pizzeria, I ordered a slice of pizza, the fucker gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the fucker gave me the "donate it to charity" slice. I would like to exchange this for the "keep it!"”
track 2, "Sandwiches"
Mitch All Together (2003)
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Mitch Hedberg 101
American stand-up comedian 1968–2005Related quotes
“Labor is not fighting for a larger slice of the national pie. Labor is fighting for a larger pie.”
We live in a world in which the common denominator that binds the human family together has been reduced to its simplest fundamental term—human survival.
Source: Writing in The New Republic, Vol. 114 (1946)
James Bond, in Ch. 15 : Pandora’s Box
Dr. No (1958)
The Very Hungry Caterpillar
“I do not want to miss a good chance of getting us a slice of this magnificent African cake.”
Thomas Pakenham, The Scramble for Africa: White Man's Conquest of the Dark Continent From 1876 to 1912, New York: Avon Books, 1992, 22.
"Loyalty Song"
Lyrics and poetry
“Sleep. Those little slices of death. How I loathe them.”
Various forms of this quote are attributed to Poe, primarily by a title card in the movie A Nightmare on Elm Street 3, though there is no record of his having ever said it.
Misattributed
“Sometimes the only vitamins I get are in the lime slices in my gimlets.”
Source: When Gravity Fails (1986), Chapter 3 (p. 27).