“If you help yourself to the benefits of being married when you are single, you're likely to help yourself to the benefits of being single when you're married.”

“If you have not even dreamed
Of benefiting yourself
Before dreaming of this for sentient beings,
How could you be of benefit to others?”

“Sometimes, you just can't help yourself but to learn quickly when being taught by the opposite gender.”

“I like to ride in trains too much. You never get to sit next to the window anymore when you're married.”

“It takes away a lot of the thrill of killing yourself when people are looking for you and you're disappointing them, because it is a lot of fun when you're out there killing yourself.”

“When you compete against everyone else, no one wants to help you. But when you compete against yourself, everyone wants to help you.”

“I've been married eight and a half years. I like being married, too. I like being married for two reasons. One, I got really tired to dating, and two, I got really tired of exercising. I don't understand these couples who get married and continue to exercise and eat healthily. I mean, what's the point of getting married if you can't let yourself go? It's not as if you have to be attractive anymore; the race is over, take off the uniform.”

“When you want to help people, you tell them the truth. When you want to help yourself, you tell them what they want to hear.”

“When you're too mad and too rattled to see straight, you're bound to make mistakes. You can't go on and on for years being miserable about a situation and not have it change you. You get so you can't stand yourself.”

“What you're blaming yourself for is being who you are. And that's no one's fault and nothing you can change.”