“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”

“My brain: it's my second favorite organ.”

“I gyve unto my wief my second best bed with the furniture”

“Since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else,'cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt.”

“I tried to kill it in my bed,
I gagged it with a pillow,
But awoke the nuns inside my head.”

“I am skilled now, at casting iron
To make a hardened bed for my heavy world”

“My God, it can recognise another human being when it's hit over the head with one.”

“I rolled my eyes so far into the top of my head I almost fell over backward.”

“I was so focused on all of that, that it took me many hours, until my kids called, ironically. My kids both called and just left a little message that they were OK. And I turned around and went — Oh, man that really hit me like a ton of bricks — But most of the time we were spared that agony for the time being.”

“The iron arc of the avoiding journey
Curves back upon my weakness at the end;
Whether the faint light spark against my face
Or in the dark my sight hide from my sight,
Centre and circumference are both my weakness.”