“Humanity is a parade of fools, and I am at the front of it, twirling a baton.”

“I slept with a woman on the ship, and afterwards I was thinking, "Am I gaaaay? Am I straaaaight?" And then I realized: I'm just slutty. Where's my parade?”

“I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.”

“Oh, I am fortune's fool!”

“If I am a fool then it is no misfortune, for then only one more fool will wander this Earth. Amongst the millions of mentally deranged it would barely be noticed. But what if I am not a fool, and that science itself has erred? Then the tragedy is incalculable!”

“can you sense twirling atoms
within the quivering air
it is the frequency of care
cast upon the human race
by anonymous surveyors of fate”

“I’m not trying to frighten you, but only a fool makes predictions based on ignorance; I am not that sort of fool.”

“I am not a fool, you know, although I am a woman, and have my woman’s moments.”

“What kind of fool am I?
I never fell in love.”

“I suffer fools gladly because I am one of them.”