“Coach Hedge shouted, 'Let the movie star go, you big ugly cupcake! Or I'm gonna plant my hoof right up your…”

“You are bad and mean and I'm going to spit on your cupcakes.”

“I should've blown more stuff up." -Coach Gleeson Hedge”

“You know when you're [driving] drunk, you're like [Imitates car driving and going over the bumps on the edge of the road], behind you, you hear [Imitates big rig horn] [slurring] "Shut up, stupid!" You know, if you hear the magical sound [Imitates police siren], one of two things will pop in your head. Either one, [slurring] "I'm okay, I'm fine…I can beat this." Or two, [police siren] "I'm gonna go to jail. Ima gonna jail. Hey, gonna hafta let you go babe, Ima gonna jail. Tell the kids I love 'em, bye."”

“Coach Hedge came pounding up the stairs with Hazel at his hooves.

“Where are they?” he demanded. “Who do I kill?”

“No killing!” Annabeth ordered. “Just defend the ship!”

“But they interrupted a Chuck Norris movie!”

“You are like a star in my night
I'm gonna make it alright
Yes I am”

“Yeah! Bring it on lake!" -Coach Gleeson Hedge”

“You are my favorite movie star / You are my big buddy / You are a low-down rotten man / You are crazy like a roll lizard”

“Go call a coach, and let a coach be called;
And let the man who calleth be the caller;
And in his calling let him nothing call
But “Coach! Coach! Coach! Oh for a coach, ye gods!””

“Small things I handled and caressed and loved.
I let the stars assume the whole of night.But the big answers clamoured to be moved Into my life. Their great audacity
Shouted to be acknowledged and believed.”