“Neither blame or praise yourself.”

The Second Sex (1949)
Context: It is vain to apportion praise and blame. The truth is that if the vicious circle is so hard to break, it is because the two sexes are each the victim at once of the other and of itself. Between two adversaries confronting each other in their pure liberty, an agreement could be easily reached: the more so as the war profits neither. But the complexity of the whole affair derives from the fact that each camp is giving aid and comfort to the enemy; woman is pursuing a dream of submission, man a dream of identification. Want of authenticity does not pay: each blames the other for the unhappiness he or she has incurred in yielding to the temptations of the easy way; what man and woman loathe in each other is the shattering frustration of each one's own bad faith and baseness.

Source: Jacob's Room

“On Preparing to Read Kipling”, p. 135
A Sad Heart at the Supermarket: Essays & Fables (1962)

As quoted in The Historians' History of the World (1904) by Henry Smith Williams, p. 423
As quoted in The Affairs of Women: A Modern Miscellany (2006) by Colin Bingham, p. 367
Variant: I praise loudly. I blame softly.

from "Having Regulations—A Memorandum" in The Complete Works of Han Fei Tzu, Volume I, Arthur Probsthain, London, 1939. Translated by W.K. Liao.

"First Meeting"
To My Daughters, With Love (1967)

p. 68 https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=wu.89009314162&view=1up&seq=72
Determinism or Free-will? (1912)