“I may be fat and ugly, but I'm not stupid. If anyone had ever gotten past my looks, they might've noticed I have a brain.”

“I'm actually pretty athletic. I have to work out just to look fat.”

“If I were running my business, I'd fire Rosie, I mean, I'd look her right in that fat ugly face of hers and say, "Rosie, you're fired."”

“I love my past. I love my present. I'm not ashamed of what I've had, and I'm not sad because I have it no longer.”

“I don't have time for these clowns. I don't have time for their judgement and their stupidity. They lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then look at me and they say 'I can't process it'. Well no, and you never will. Stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show.”

“At sixteen I get drafted. When I read the draft notice, I cry. Not because I'm a coward - I'm not afraid of anyone. But I don't want to kill or be killed.”

“I'm fat because I'm greedy, and if my mind is fat it's because I'm curious.”

“I think people don't expect a lot from me. I'm trying to think at what age I noticed it was more about how I looked and less about what I do, but to me that was never the interesting part about me. I had nothing to do with my looks.”

“If desire did not dim the brain, nobody would ever get married, drunk, or fat.”

“I had maggot brains that night and may have imagined half of it, and misunderstood the rest.”