Patrice O'Neal citations

“People always say "Don't you support the troops?" But the troops are an entity that just follows orders. It's not about individuals or people. So when I say "I don't support the troops", I'm saying I don't support the bankers and politicians who are making them do what they do.”

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Patrice O'Neal

May 10, 2011
The Opie and Anthony Radio show

“Men want to be alone, but we don't wanna be by ourselves.”

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Patrice O'Neal

Stand Up

“I said to my girl, "The reason you have a key (to my house) is to keep me from having other women in my house. I give you an open invitation." See, she wants me to go, "Because I love you and I trust you, and I want you to trust me." It's because the fear of my girl walking in will keep me from having a young broad sitting on top of my counter. But she wants that to be because I love her so much, but it's just to protect me from my own manness.”

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Patrice O'Neal

September 24, 2008
The Opie and Anthony Radio show

“A beautiful 35-year old ain't as good-looking as an ugly 19-year old.”

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Patrice O'Neal

September 24, 2008
The Opie and Anthony Radio show

“Having women work with men is like having a grizzly bear work with salmon... dipped in honey.”

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Patrice O'Neal

Stand Up

“I just think the closer we (as a species) think we get to God, the closer we get to death.”

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Patrice O'Neal

September 23, 2011
The Opie and Anthony Radio Show