George Ouzounian citations (69 citations)

George Ouzounian: 69 citations0 J'aime

George Ouzounian: Citations en anglais

“It simultaneously warms my heart and wears my delete key when I get emails from twelve-year-olds.”

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“"How can a movie be "one of the best"? There's only one "best" movie, so saying something is "one of the best" is stupid and doesn't make sense. Technically any movie that's not the worst could be considered "one of the best." Imagine that, another empty phrase used by marketing people. I want to punch someone in the throat."”

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Maddox

Hollywood: still out of ideas? How about another black-guy-meets-white-guy comedy http://maddox.xmission.com/cop_movie.html The Best Page in the Universe

“6. You realize that if 10 million people saw the movie once, each wasting 3 hours of their lives, that 30 million hours have been wasted, and that if each person lived an average of 70 years, 3,424 years, or 49 lives will have been wasted watching the Titanic. James Cameron has effectively murdered 49 people. (Not necessarily a reason to cry, but it is to a sap that saw Titanic in the first place).”

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Maddox

Reasons to cry during the movie "Titanic" http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=cry_titanic. The Best Page in the Universe

“Most of the screen on a blog is blank for an imaginary populace of readers still using 640x480 resolution. I didn't buy a 19" monitor to have 50% of its screen realestate pissed away on firing white pixels, you assholes.”

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Maddox

If these words were people, I would embrace their genocide http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=banish. The Best Page in the Universe

“I've pissed higher than the tallest building in Utah.”

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Maddox

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“Don't you retards think before you click "Send" that maybe someone on the other end is actually going to read your stupid, malformed emails some day? It's almost like there's a record full of incomprehensible bullshit playing in your mind 24/7, and you put the needle down randomly and whatever it picks up, you just type it up in an email and shoot it off to me, usually mid-sentence.”

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Maddox

I am a genius, you are not. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=your_stupid_ideas The Best Page in the Universe

“(introduction) "this page is about my opinions. if you disagree, you have a right to your opinion and i can respect that."”

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Maddox

One of the Better Pages in the Universe. http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=april_fools04 The Best Page in the Universe, April Fools

“New rule: if your state has more cows than people, you don't get to be a state anymore.”

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Maddox

Idaho blows http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=idaho_blows The Best Page in the Universe

“General Grievous," a bad guy so sinister, his very name stands for PAIN AND SUFFERING. Nice job assholes… Why not just call all your characters "Evil" and "Bad" next time?”

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Maddox

Star Wars Episode III: a steaming pile of Sith http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=episode3 The Best Page in the Universe

“…'SummerGrl19?' Very clever handle by the way, the only way you could make it any more unoriginal or cliche would be to add the words 'happy, cute' or 'princess' to the name.”

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Maddox

Bullshit Hate Mail http://maddox.xmission.com/hatemail.cgi?p=1#MARATHON. The Best Page in the Universe

“Watching this video is like being bukkaked with stupid.”

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Maddox

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“That reminds me of how much I hate babies. Why does everyone want to save them? There are too many babies. I'm not saying we should kill them, but if you happen to be giving your baby a bath and the phone rings.. well, nobody will judge you. Besides, you might get free brownies out of it at the funeral, and brownies rule.”

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Maddox

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“It's not that I rule, it's that everyone else sucks more than I do. We all suck, and whoever sucks the least is king.”

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Maddox

Whoever Sucks the Least is King: An Interview with Maddox http://www.poindexteronline.com/old/www/text/archives/00000078.html The Best Page in the Universe

“Science can learn a lot from someone this stupid.”

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Maddox

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“Whales are drinking all our water and eating our sailors.”

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Maddox

When is the last time a whale did anything for you? http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=whales_suck The Best Page in the Universe

“"The theme song states "YOU GOT THE POWER TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE… YOU GOT THE POWER TO MAKE A CHANGE." Wow, thank you MTV, for making me feel empowered and independent, like only a multinational media conglomerate can."”

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Maddox

I hate Cameron Diaz http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=trippin The Best Page in the Universe

“This car just looks terrible; it looks like it was designed by a blind child with arthritis. In a coma.”

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Maddox

on the Honda Element Proof that wealth can't buy class: the top four ugliest cars on the road. http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=ugly_cars The Best Page in the Universe

“Fernando is wanted for 'murder with a deadly weapon' according to the FBI website. As opposed to being wanted for murder with a non-deadly weapon?”

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Maddox

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“(introduction) This page is about me and why everything I like is great. If you disagree with anything you find on this page, you are wrong.”

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Maddox

The Best Page In The Universe. http://maddox.xmission.com/ The Best Page in the Universe

“There are only three reasons you should ever be this delighted about anything, and all of them involve you being a hot chick, meeting me, and lube.”

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Maddox

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“Thank you Joe Nobody for giving me your expert opinion on what missile sounds like, because gas station superintendents are usually the best people to ask about the sonic signature of ballistic missile thrust.”

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Maddox

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“I was going to write about how I was going to take away women's right to vote, but that one is pretty obvious since nobody wants women to vote, except for women, and they don't count.”

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Maddox

Looking for a safe stance on abortion? Me neither. http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=regressive The Best Page in the Universe

“The only thing that goes with Crocs is social Ostracism.”

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Maddox

Fashion tips for women from a guy who knows dick about fashion. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=fashion The Best Page in the Universe

“Look out pop-culture! Bono has had enough of 'romantic love'.”

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Maddox

The eleven worst songs of 2004 http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=11worst The Best Page in the Universe

“I've got pissing people off down to a science.”

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Maddox

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“It was like Rambo sent them all Christmas cards, but instead of cards it was murder.”

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Maddox

Astrology is bullshit. http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=astrology The Best Page in the Universe

“"This sounds like the soundtrack of a coma." (On U2's song One Step Closer)”

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Maddox

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“What the hell is "partly cloudy" supposed to mean? When is it not partly cloudy? … Just tune into a weather forecast. Chances are you'll hear the phrase at least 3 or more times.”

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Maddox

Meteorologist my ass! http://maddox.xmission.com/weather.html The Best Page in the Universe

“There aren't many things I don't want to experience in life, but the sensual caress of a parent going through mid-life crisis is one of them.”

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Maddox

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“The earth's population is about 6 billion. At 15 minutes per person, that amounts to over 171,000 years we'd have to spend just sitting around watching people be "famous.”

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Maddox

To hell with that." I wonder if Jenny Jones can come up with a topic that rhymes with "canceled." http://maddox.xmission.com/jenny_canceled.html The Best Page in the Universe