Louise Rennison citations

“He who laughs last laughs the laughiest.”

“He says we should take it easy and that maybe he overreacted a bit."

Dave said, "A bit? That's like Hitler saying, 'Oooh, I just meant to go for a little walk, but then I accidentally invaded Poland.”

“I am exhausted by trying to get along with the Lord.”

“He said, 'Hi, gorgeous,' which I think is nice. I admire honesty.”

“Honestly, what planet do these people live on? And why isn't it farther away?”

“If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!”

“I wanted to kill her and make her eat her fringe. And her knickers.”

“Rosie get off your desk, and please put your beard away.”

“You are not ashamed of our luuurve, are you, Jas?'
'Look, shut up, people might hear.'
'What do you mean, the people who live in the telephone?”

“Here is another marvy glimpse into the gothic basement that I call my mind.”

“Look, I can't go out with you, because… because… because I'm a lesbian.”

“Oh no. I've just accidently paid a visit to the cakeshop of love. I haven't put back my Italian cakey, but I have accidentally picked up a Dave the Tart.”

“I am soooo excited, I am over-excited. I'm hysterical, I may have to slap my own face in a minute at this rate.”

“When uncle Eddie does his impression of 'Like a Virgin' it's like Madonna is coming out of his body!'
Christ what an image.”

“When Mutti and Vati came in I didn't speak to them. I just unfurled the CAT MOLESTERS banner I had made.”

“What shall I say? I must tread a fine line between glaciosity and friendlinosity. With just a hint of 'you don't know what you are missing, my fine-feathered friend.”

“Dad has brought me a cup of tea in bed this morning! I said, 'Vati, why are you waking me up in the middle of the night? Are you on fire?”

“What in the name of Hitler's panties and matching bra set was she talking about?”

“You make me laugh like a loon on loon tablets!”

“And the kittykats would have to erect scaffolding and a pulley to get him down. Mind you, I wouldn't put that past them. Sometimes when they are behind the sofa supposedly purring, I think they are drilling.”

“I could have quite literally snogged until the cows came home. And when they came home I would have shouted, "WHAT HAVE YOU COWS COME HOME FOR? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SNOGGING, YOU STUPID HERBIVORES???”

“He had everything a dream boy should have. Back, front, sides, Everything. A head.”

“As she left my room I knew I should shut up. But you know when you should shut up because you really should just shut up… but you keep on and on anyway? Well, I had that.”

“Through my curtains I can see a big yellow moon. I’m thinking of all the people in the world who will be looking at that same moon.

I wonder how many of them haven’t got any eyebrows?”

“Jassie, guess what I'm dancing in!'
'I don't know, a bowl?'
'Non… I am dancing in my Nuddy-pants!”

“Everyone is so bloody keen on me thinking all of a sudden. It's not what I do.”

“Its okay I'm wearing really big knickers.”

“Shut up Jas, you are not Baby Jesus”

“Watching TV Mum said, 'Do you miss your dad?' and I said, 'Who?”