Jeff Lindsay citations

“Nothing in life is fair. Fair is a dirty word and I'll thank you not to use that language around me.”

“Weren't we all crazy in our sleep? What was sleep, after all, but the process by which we dumped our insanity into a dark subconscious pit and came out on the other side ready to eat cereal instead of our neighbor's children?”

“You're driving me NORMAL!”

“I'm a very neat monster." ~Dexter Morgan”

“But as I have noticed on more than one occaision, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint department, so we might as well accept things the way they happen, clean up the mess, and move on.”

“Life's only obligation, afterall, was to be interesting.”

“Anybody can be charming if they don't mind faking it, saying all the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don't have a conscience. I say them.”

“Really now: If you can't get me my newspaper on time, how can you expect me to refrain from killing people?”

“Perhaps because I'll never be one, humans are interesting to me.”

“I often find myself in situations where it seems to me like everyone else has read the instruction book”

“Why do so many people start their messages with, "It's me"? Of course it is you. We all know that. But who the hell ARE you?”

“Because I am an inhuman monster, I tend to be logical,…”

“Feeling - what authentic human fun!”

“Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dressed and went to work.”

“I think people understand things different when they get older. It’s not a question of getting soft, or seeing things in the gray areas instead of black and white. I really believe I’m just understanding things different. Better.”

“A man who discovers his pants are on fire tends to have very little time to worry about somebody else's box of matches”

“I stood up. It was all too much. I could not even meet my own expectations, and to be asked to deal with all theirs too was suffocating.”

“I'm quite sure more people fake an awful lot of everyday human contact. I just fake all of it." --Dexter”

“It’s like, everything really is two ways, the way we all pretend it is and the way it really is”

“Why bother inflicting enormous pain on yourself when sooner or later Life would certainly get around to doing it for you?”

“And then more quiet, silence so deep it almost drowned out the roar of the night music that pounded away in my secret self.”

“The mind picks some very bad times to take a walk doesn't it?”

“I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast?”

“For the first time I could remember, I felt weak, woozy and stupid— like a human-being. Like a very small and helpless human-being.”

“And here I always thought morality was useless”

“Me, feeling. What a concept.”

“Rectory always sounded to me like a place you would find a proctologist.”

“Another dream. Another long-distance call on my phantom party line. No wonder i had steadfastly refused to have dreams for most of my life. So stupid; such pointless, obvious symbols. Totally uncontrollable anxiety soup, hateful, blatant nonsense.”

“No big deal. We all have blood in us, the trick is keeping it inside.”